Dyslexia plus me

So maybe I can't hear or speak or write or focus or contribute or be there or see your way or think like everyone expects. 

So I can't spell or pronounce or stand or smile when I'm supposed to. Or answer a question or that I look around for a answer.

But I'm here. I've done things that most could only grip with their teeth. I've shone  through. My friend C told me, that she was really proud of me for doing the films. I hadn't heard that from many.  It was a genuine  proud that I only feel from people I trust. 

I'm not doing stuff for self ego or whatever people wish to believe.

 I'm a creative hub, I speak in whispers and sometimes my brain is on auto melt down. Dyslexia is part of me and I can not explain my sudden lose of speech and sweat that trickles down from inside of me while people bombard me with questions that I'm only hearing the last word of.

My best friend is my support. She catches my words like a waterfall of words that I can't stream.

I'm at the start while your all at the finishing line. 

It hurts to hear critic when all I want to do is scream slow down. I know I'll never be the loud talker or will my words make sense to some. 

Maybe my films will be like donny darko. An endless mad maze of thoughts.

My poems awaken people, thankfully.

Bob Dylan won me radio and I'm in the 3rd book.

Dyslexia helped me get somewhere good.

Im not perfect and patience has slowed me down. Kindness has taken over a past I put away. 

But I'm alive. 

I'm a creative hub

I write and write and write and write 

And yes I have dyslexia.

But don't put me in a box and assume I know what I'm doing and what I'm writing and what I'm spelling and what line that sentence is supposed to go and how and what and why and now.

Cos I'm still learning too and 

I can still hear the silence of you 

And the laughing 

And somewhere in the distance I can hear my dad and C 

'Leah I'm so proud of you' 

And that matters

That's all that really matters in Leah's mad crazy world 

To me.